Back in college I received a birthday card for my 22nd birthday from someone special. On the front of the card was a balding, distressed-looking ostrich and inside it said, "Happy Birthday! Unique, Wonderful, You!"
Upon first glance at the card I was taken aback. I wondered to myself, "why would you get someone something like that?"
I was aware of how different I was. I didn't have the "typical" feminine personality that was expected of me. Nor did I have the typical personality that was expected of my age range. And I definitely didn't have the "typical" personality that was expected of my ethnicity either (I was often told by my peers I was "not black enough" or "not hispanic enough" for my opinions to matter. That I was just an "Oreo"). And my humor at times can be a little off-the-wall. I was really good at throwing people for a loop. Consequently, my "uniqueness" was met my whole life with questions, judgments. I had a large range of acquaintances, but I was never able to feel a sense of true "belonging" within social groups (and boy did I jump from group-to-group!).
My insecurity at the time prevented me from seeing the card for what it truly meant. I thought it meant there was something odd, wrong about me. As much as I new rationally the card meant well, deep down I was having feelings parallel to those I had felt all my life: that I wasn't appreciated and that I was being made fun of. And the negative thought toward it never left my mind.
As I have gotten older, I have realized that "belonging" was never anything I really wanted deep down anyway. Had I truly wanted to belong, I would have made the necessary adjustments in my life to do so. Instead, the things that people found odd about me, I learned to embrace. It was what made me the knowledgable, diverse, engaging and culturally sensitive person that I am today. People fascinate me. And I am more drawn now to those that are not afraid to deviate from the norm every now and then. Those that embrace that which is unique about them. It inspires me. It motivates me to keep being me no matter what others think. Had I followed any norm, I would not have had the wonderful experiences in my lifetime that I have thus far.
And since I have learned to embrace my "uniqueness", I have never felt so free. It's like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. And I now choose to welcome into my life only those who are willing to accept "uniquewonderfulme" for who I am. Nothing less will be tolerated nor should it!
No comments:
Post a Comment